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A CURE FOR LONELINESS PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

Psychology Today US Back Psychology Today Home Find a Therapist Get Help Magazine Today Back Find a Therapist Get Help Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Members Login Sign Up Back Get Help Mental Health Addiction ADHD Anxiety Asperger's Autism Bipolar Disorder Chronic Pain Depression Eating Disorders Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness Personal Growth Goal Setting Happiness Positive Psychology Stopping Smoking Relationships Low Sexual Desire Relationships Sex Family Life Child Development Parenting View Help Index Do I Need Help? Self Tests Recently Diagnosed? Diagnosis Dictionary Types of Therapy Talk to Someone Find a Therapist Back Magazine Psychology Today Magazine Cover May 2018 Lessons You Won't Learn In School Here are 10 skills that will clarify your visions and bring you closer to your life goals. Back Today News ADHD Is Real: Brain Differences in Preschool-Age Children When “For Better or for Worse” Gets Real Why Narcissists Thrive on Chaos Essential Reads When “For Better or for Worse” Gets Real Is “Different” the New “Normal”? How Relationship Quality Might Affect Your Future Health Why Narcissists Thrive on Chaos Trending Topics Narcissism Alzheimer's Bias Affective Forecasting Neuroscience Behavioral Economics See All Find a Therapist (City or Zip) Verified by Psychology Today Psychology Today Magazine March 2018 March 2018 A Cure for Disconnection A Cure for Disconnection Loneliness is a problem of epidemic proportions, affecting millions from all walks of life. But while its roots are complex, remedies may be within reach. By Jennifer Latson, published March 7, 2018 - last reviewed on April 19, 2018 SHARE TWEET EMAIL MORE In the world of Peanuts, Charlie Brown once visited Lucy's psychiatry booth and asked, "Can you cure loneliness?" "For a nickel, I can cure anything," Lucy said. article continues after advertisement "Can you cure deep-down, black, bottom-of-the-well, no-hope, end-of-the-world, what's-the-use loneliness?" he asked. "For the same nickel?!" she balked. It's been 17 years since Robert Putnam's best-selling book Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community sounded the alarm about societal changes driving new levels of isolation and alienation; by now, most of us know that loneliness isn't a problem to be laughed off. Researchers warn that we are in the midst of a loneliness epidemic, and they aren't being metaphorical when they speak of loneliness as a disease. Stephanie, 35: "Since college I've lived in San Francisco, Paris, London, Shanghai and New York, and I've had to recreate my social family in each place. It's hard. I force myself to reach out and say, 'Hey, do you want to hang out with me?' I've realized there really are nice people everywhere." Photo by Peter Hapak Loneliness poses a serious physical risk—it can be, quite literally, deadly. As a predictor of premature death, insufficient social connection is a bigger risk factor than obesity and the equivalent of smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, according to Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychology professor at Brigham Young University and one of the leading figures in loneliness research. And, she says, the epidemic is only getting worse. New research is upending much of what we've long taken for granted about loneliness. More than just a mopey, Charlie Brown-esque mindset, loneliness causes serious hurt, acting on the same parts of the brain as physical pain. And while past research has treated loneliness as a synonym for social isolation, recent studies are revealing that the subjective feeling of loneliness—the internal experience of disconnection or rejection—is at the heart of the problem. More of us than ever before are feeling its sting, whether we're young or old, married or single, urban-dwelling or living in remote mountain villages. (In fact, some remote mountain villagers are much less likely to be lonely, as we'll see.) article continues after advertisement This is what makes loneliness so insidious: It hides in plain sight and, unlike smoking or obesity, isn't typically seen as a threat, even though it takes a greater toll on our well-being. The need for intervention is urgent, says Harvard physician and public-health researcher Jeremy Nobel. "It's time for PSAs," he says. "Something like 'This is your brain. This is your brain on loneliness.'" But before we can fight back, we need to know exactly what we're up against—and start taking it seriously. What It Is, What It's Not It's been well established that lonely people are more likely than the nonlonely to die from cardiovascular disease, cancer, respiratory illness, and gastrointestinal causes—essentially, everything. One study found that those with fewer than three people they could confide in and count on for social support were more than twice as likely to die from heart disease than those with more confidants. They were also roughly twice as likely to die of all causes, even when age, income, and smoking status were comparable. Apart from the risk of premature death, loneliness contributes to seemingly countless health woes. Consider the common cold: A study published last year, in which lonely and nonlonely people were given cold-inducing nasal drops and quarantined in hotel rooms for five days, found that the lonely people who got sick suffered more severe symptoms than the nonlonely. "Put simply, lonelier people feel worse when they are sick than do less lonely people," writes study author Angie LeRoy, a doctoral candidate at the University of Houston. But what does it mean to be lonely, exactly? One of the most surprising revelations is the extent to which loneliness afflicts those of us who aren't isolated in any traditional sense of the term, including people who are married or who have relatively large networks of friends and family. article continues after advertisement "Loneliness is not simply being alone," says John Cacioppo, the director of the University of Chicago's Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience and the author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. He points out that many of us crave solitude, which feels restorative and peaceful when desired. What might qualify as pleasant for some, however, can be misery for others—or even for the same person at different times. Unlike most previous research, which has focused on the number of people in a patient's social network, LeRoy's cold study looked at both objective social isolation and subjective loneliness: the discrepancy between the patient's actual and desired social relationships. Loneliness is a perceptual state that depends more on the quality of a person's relationships than on their sheer number. People with few friends can feel fulfilled; people with vast social networks can feel empty and disconnected. What LeRoy and her colleagues found was that subjective loneliness was a far bigger risk factor than sheer social isolation. "It's all about how the person feels," she says. "Feelings really matter." And how exactly does the feeling of chronic loneliness hurt us? In addition to making us more susceptible to viruses, it's also strongly correlated with cognitive decline and dementia. Lonely people are more than twice as likely to develop Alzheimer's as the nonlonely. And researchers make a point of distinguishing the effects of loneliness from those of depression: Depression does elevate the risk for Alzheimer's slightly, but not nearly as much as loneliness. It's easy to see how loneliness and depression would go hand in hand; the two states seem to feed off each other. Cacioppo defines loneliness as "a debilitating psychological condition characterized by a deep sense of emptiness, worthlessness, lack of control, and personal threat." Some of those characteristics apply equally to depression, and it's true that loneliness sometimes gives way to depression. But recent studies show that while loneliness can be an accurate predictor of depression, depression doesn't necessarily predict loneliness. (And, of course, loneliness is far from the only trigger for depression.) The key difference between the two, Cacioppo argues, is that loneliness not only leads to an increase in depressive symptoms but also to increased stress, anxiety, and even anger. Loneliness makes us sad, certainly, but the sense of personal threat seems to be what makes it so physically toxic. "These data suggest that a perceived sense of social connectedness serves as a scaffold for the self," Cacioppo writes. "Damage the scaffold, and the rest of the self begins to crumble." Mark, 59: "I was lonely when I was 40 and going through a divorce. I shut myself off from everyone, ashamed that my marriage had failed. It wasn't until I had a conversation with a friend who'd gone through the same thing that I finally opened up. Just talking about it helped me." Photo by Peter Hapak Primal Roots Our drive for social connectedness is so deeply wired that being rejected or socially excluded hurts like an actual wound. UCLA psychologist Naomi Eisenberger demonstrated the overlap between social and physical pain with an experiment in which subjects played an online game, tossing a virtual ball back and forth, while their brain activity was measured. Only one player was human; the others were created by a computer program. At some point, the computer "players" stopped tossing the ball to their human teammate. What Eisenberger found was that the brain activity of the rejected player strongly resembled that of someone experiencing physical pain. Likewise, Eisenberger has found that the same painkillers we take for physical suffering can ease the ache of loneliness. In animal tests, morphine lessened the distress of social separation as well as it relieved physical pain. In human studies, experimenters used Tylenol instead of morphine—and it helped, too. Activity in the brain's pain-processing regions was significantly reduced in subjects who took acetaminophen before being excluded from the ball-tossing game. It's no accident that loneliness hurts. Like the pain receptors that evolution planted in our bodies so we would keep our distance from a fire, the pain of loneliness grabs our attention and urges us to seek a remedy. Humans are social animals, after all, and collaboration has insured our survival against other animals. In our early days, the pain of loneliness would have been a powerful reminder to rejoin the pack when we strayed or risk fiercer pain if we encountered a predator all alone. "Loneliness evolved like any other form of pain," Cacioppo says. "It is an aversive state that has evolved as a signal to change behavior, very much like hunger, thirst, or physical pain, to motivate us to renew the connections we need to survive and prosper." Feeling disconnected from the people we rely on for help and support puts us on high alert, triggering the body's stress response. Studies show that lonely people, like most people under stress, have less restful sleep, higher blood pressure, and increased levels of the hormones cortisol and epinephrine; these, in turn, contribute to inflammation and weakened immunity. While the pain of loneliness was an adaptive advantage in humanity's early days, when separating from the tribe could mean becoming lion food, it doesn't serve the same purpose now that we can technically survive entirely on our own, given a microwave and an endless supply of Hot Pockets. The force of the feeling may seem like overkill now that it has evolved from a life-or-death alarm bell into a more abstract warning that our need for connection is not being met. But that's only until you consider that the need, left unmet, still has the power to kill us—just by a slower, more invisible mechanism than starvation or predation. Counterintuitively, the pain of isolation can make us more likely to lash out at the people we feel alienated from. Once our fight-or-flight system is activated, we're more likely to fight others than to hug them. Loneliness, Cacioppo explains, "promotes an emphasis on short-term self-preservation, including an increase in implicit vigilance for social threats." The emerging theory of loneliness, in other words, is that it doesn't just make people yearn to engage with the world around them. It makes them hypervigilant to the possibility that others mean to do them harm—which makes it even less likely that they'll be able to connect meaningfully. This negative feedback loop is what makes chronic loneliness (as opposed to situational loneliness, which comes and goes in everyone's life) so frustratingly intractable. In people who've been lonely for a long time, the fight-or-flight response has kicked into perpetual overdrive, making them defensive and wary in social settings. Chronically lonely people tend to approach a social interaction with the expectation that it will be unfulfilling and to look for evidence that they're right. As Cacioppo notes, lonely people pay more attention to negative signals from others, interpreting judgment and rejection where it is not intended. Without being aware of it, they sabotage their own efforts to connect with others. So injunctions to join a book club or social group won't help unless people can first shed the unconscious biases that keep them from establishing intimacy. Experts like Cacioppo are approaching this problem from two angles: how to stop the feedback loop once it starts and, perhaps more promisingly, how to prevent it from starting at all. That means working to beef up social opportunities and deepen connections among those likely to become chronically lonely. But first they have to identify the people most at risk. KIVA: "I have what I call a soul-type of loneliness because I lost my parents when I was young—my father when I was 9 and mom when I was 19. Because of that, I don't take people for granted and really try to stay connected. My friends are my family in many ways." Photo by Peter Hapak Who? Everyone More Americans are living alone than ever before, making us more likely to become socially isolated, especially as we age. The number of older people without a spouse, child, or any living relatives is growing—and disproportionately so for older black Americans. That's one reason we're lonelier. But it's not the whole story. Being married doesn't protect you from loneliness, according to a 2012 study, which followed 1,600 adults over 60 for six years. Out of the 43 percent of participants who reported chronic loneliness, more than half were married. Everyone, of course, is lonely sometimes, especially after the loss of a loved one or a move to a new area. The very elderly are at a higher risk for chronic loneliness because they've often lost partners, siblings, and friends, and because health and mobility problems can get in the way of social activity. And that demographic is growing simply because life expectancy is increasing. Loneliness has also skyrocketed among teens and young adults, despite their typically robust health and sizeable peer groups. A recent British study found that the youngest people surveyed—those between 16 and 24—were the most likely of all age groups to report feeling lonely. Many experts blame the growing loneliness of young people on their social media use, which they argue may hinder the development of the real-world social skills necessary to build close friendships. In the United States, loneliness is especially lethal for military veterans. A 2017 study by Yale researchers found that the biggest contributor to veteran suicides—on average, 20 a day—was not war—related trauma but loneliness. Even soldiers who never saw combat are susceptible, Sebastian Junger reported in Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging. Most devastating, for many of them, is the loss of what Junger terms "brotherhood"—the tight bonds formed through shared mission and sacrifice—and its stark contrast with our independent, isolated civilian society. Overall, roughly 40 percent of Americans reported regularly feeling lonely in 2010, up from about 20 percent in the 1980s. According to a sociological report called the General Social Survey, the number of Americans who say they have no one they can confide in nearly tripled between 1985 and 2004: At the survey's end, the average person reported having just two confidants. Why? There are many reasons, but Sherry Turkle, the author of Alone Together: Why We Ask More From Technology and Less From Each Other, places blame squarely on the rise of digital culture. Connecting meaningfully with others in person requires us to be ourselves, openly and genuinely. Conversations by text or Facebook messenger may be filled with smile emojis, but they leave us feeling empty because they lack depth. "Without the demands and rewards of intimacy and empathy, we end up feeling alone while together online," Turkle says. "And when we get together, we are quite frankly less prepared than before to listen. We have lost empathy skills. And of course, this, too, makes us more alone." But even friends we interact with in the real world can put us at risk if they themselves become lonely. A stunning study by Cacioppo and fellow researchers Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler concluded that loneliness is contagious: It spreads in clusters throughout social networks. Their research, based on a 10-year study of more than 5,000 people, found that those who became lonely typically passed that feeling along to others before cutting ties with the group. As they describe it, ripples of loneliness along the margins of a social network, where people tend to have fewer friends to begin with, move inward toward the group's center, infecting the friends of those lonely people, then friends of friends, leading to weakened ties among all. "Our social fabric can fray at the edges, like a yarn that comes loose at the end of a crocheted sweater," they write. "An important implication of this finding is that interventions to reduce loneliness in our society may benefit by aggressively targeting the people at the periphery to help repair their social networks. By helping them, we might create a protective barrier against loneliness that can keep the whole network from unraveling." Anais, 22 “I don’t have a lot of friends, but the friends I do have—we’re really close. And I think it’s important to be together in person. There’s no point in our texting if we live 10 minutes away and we’re not doing anything. I’ll say, ‘Let’s hang out. I have a car—I’ll come to you.’” Photo by Peter Hapak How to Reconnect Perched on a remote hillside in the rugged, rocky heart of Sardinia, Villagrande Strisaili doesn't seem like a particularly hospitable place. The farmers and laborers who eke out a backbreaking living here greeted psychologist Susan Pinker with extreme wariness when she visited them. "Who are your parents?" one asked her. But these villagers have something the rest of us covet: an average lifespan as much as three decades longer than their fellow Europeans (and us Americans). It's one of the handful of mountainous regions in the world where more people live past the age of 100 than anywhere else. And what researchers, including Pinker, have found is that one key to their longevity may be that they live within a social fabric knit so tightly that, while seemingly impervious to outsiders, it shelters its residents in a uniquely warm, protective embrace. Part of the Sardinian stronghold's secret is structural. As in all of Italy's medieval villages, life literally and figuratively revolves around the town square, as it has for centuries. "You have to go through it to go to the post office or the church or the store," says Pinker, the author of The Village Effect: How Face-to-Face Contact Can Make Us Healthier and Happier. "You have to meet your neighbors, whether you want to or not." Part, too, evolved from the region's geographic isolation and the repeated invasions it has endured since the Bronze Age, which forced its early residents inland to hilltop enclaves that were easy to defend. Their descendants, Villagrande's 3,500 modern-day dwellers, are bonded both by kinship and by millennia of shared history and common purpose. So being born into a tight-knit community on a remote mountaintop where your ancestors fought off invaders for thousands of years, and where you're forced to see your neighbors every day in the town square, is one way to prevent loneliness. But where does that leave the rest of us? It's possible to follow the Sardinian example by creating communities that deliberately foster close social bonds. There's a growing cohousing movement in which residents share chores and tend to common spaces together, as they have in communes and kibbutzes. "It's more popular in Sweden, Denmark, and Norway," Pinker says. "There are about 700 cohousing communities in Denmark and 150 to 200 in the United States, but more are being built." Growing numbers of older Americans, meanwhile, are embracing what some are calling the "village movement," forming neighborhood organizations where homeowners pay yearly dues to hire a small staff that helps with everything from minor home improvements to grocery shopping to organizing social activities. That way people can maintain the connections they've developed over a lifetime in their own neighborhoods and still receive the services they might otherwise get by moving into an assisted living facility. Urban planners can help by designing communities that look more like Villagrande—if not with a town square at the center, then at least with parks and community centers where people are forced to cross paths. And we can all make a conscious choice to buy or rent homes in socially salubrious neighborhoods, Pinker says. "A lot of people look at a home's closets and kitchen, but what they need to look at is where the people gather in the neighborhood. What's the park like? Where's the library? That's much more important than how big your closet is." Even if we don't live in a setting that puts us in regular contact with our neighbors, we can still cultivate connection by making it a priority akin to exercise, Pinker says. Combining workouts with social connection, in fact, does double duty: Pinker's own research convinced her to change her solitary exercise habits, and she joined a swim team with whom she stretches both her physical and her social muscles. We can find ways to engage with other people no matter what our interests are. "Just getting together to play cards once a week can add years onto your life—it's better than taking beta blockers," Pinker says. "But that's not why you should do it. You should do it because it's fun, because you enjoy it. Otherwise you won't keep it up." What's missing for lonely people, after all, is not just social contact but meaningful contact—the bonds that come from being your authentic self with another person. One of the best ways to foster meaningful engagement is through the creative arts, says health researcher Jeremy Nobel, who is spearheading an initiative called The UnLonely Project, which focuses on creative expression as a way to lessen the burden of loneliness. Edythe Hughes, a 28-year-old model affiliated with The UnLonely Project, has made art a regular part of her social life. "Whenever I have people over, I always have a canvas and ask that everyone paint something," she says. "Making art together pulls you into a deeper connection with each other." Brendan, 27 "The worst loneliness is when I'm lonely, but I'm not alone. I'm around friends or even a significant other, but we're not on the same wavelength. If I feel that way, I'll open it up to a conversation. It's like, we're all adults. If something is affecting me to that extent, I think it should be talked about." Photo by Peter Hapak This is why traditional efforts to reach out to the lonely—by, say, visiting a nursing home—are often unsuccessful: They fail to foster deep, meaningful engagement. The encounter is pleasant but fleeting, and the effects don't last. "If I talk to someone for an hour and then leave, they're still lonely," says Dutch sociologist Jenny Gierveld, who has spent 50 years studying loneliness. "The basis of a meaningful bond is reciprocity. A lonely person can't just answer a lot of questions for an hour and feel connected. He or she has to do something." To foster the engagement that's key to countering loneliness, Cacioppo and his colleagues at the University of Chicago designed what they call social fitness exercises and applied them to people at particularly high risk for chronic loneliness: soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. Working with 48 Army platoons, they taught the soldiers to identify behaviors that reinforce loneliness and to substitute more positive behaviors. For example, a soldier who kept looking down at his phone was reminded to put the phone away and engage with the people around him; someone tempted to avoid conversation was encouraged to ask a question instead. The training was shown to reduce loneliness among soldiers—and it might work equally well in civilian settings. "Just as you can start an exercise regimen to gain strength and improve your health, you can combat loneliness through exercises that build emotional strength and resilience," Cacioppo writes. A major barrier to treating loneliness, however, is the reluctance many feel to even acknowledge that it affects them. Unlike other health risks, such as hypertension or high cholesterol, it's compounded by stigma. "It becomes about them as a person: They're not worthy of friendship; they have less value in society," Nobel says. But that may be changing with increasing awareness of how common and dangerous loneliness is. "I've been working on this for my entire career, and within the last year there has been more attention paid to it than ever before, which gives me hope," says psychologist and neuroscientist Holt-Lunstad. Last spring, she testified before the U.S. Senate Committee on Aging on the need to elevate loneliness to a public health priority on the same level as smoking and obesity. "One of the biggest stumbling blocks in getting many organizations to take this seriously is the question, 'What can we do about it?' It feels, to many, more like a personal issue, something policymakers shouldn't be getting involved in," she says. But one of the issues that emerged during her testimony was that hearing loss among older Americans contributes to increased isolation and loneliness. Congress has since passed legislation to make hearing aids more accessible. "While it's true that we can't legislate good relationships, here's legislation that can reduce loneliness, and it doesn't impede on anyone's personal freedom," she says. While an easy fix for loneliness is elusive, researchers are optimistic. It wasn't so long ago, after all, that we connected meaningfully with each other more or less by default. We can figure it out again—especially now that we know what's at stake. "More than just looking at new statistics about loneliness, it is time to trace the human story of how we got here," Turkle says. "It is not so complicated. We can retrace our way and rediscover one another's company." Take the Fight to Loneliness Once we understand the toll loneliness takes on our mental and physical health, what can we do to protect ourselves? DO TALK TO STRANGERS Small talk isn't so small, so take the plunge and converse with someone beside you on the bus or in line at a store."Just chatting makes us happier and healthier," says Susan Pinker, author of The Village Effect. "We can feel much better after just 30 seconds of talking to someone in person, whereas we don't get that benefit from online interaction." GIVE IT SEVEN MINUTES According to the "seven-minute rule," it takes that long to know if a conversation is going to be interesting. Sherry Turkle, the author of Alone Together and Reclaiming Conversation, acknowledges that it can be hard, "but it's when we stumble, hesitate, and have those 'lulls' that we reveal ourselves most to each other." SCHEDULE FACE TIME What does face-to-face contact with friends and family give us that virtual communication lacks? For one thing, it boosts our production of endorphins, the brain chemicals that ease pain and enhance well-being. That's one reason in-person interaction improves our physical health, researchers say. IF YOU CAN'T GET FACE TIME, CHOOSE FACETIME Being there in person is always best, but video conferencing by Skype or FaceTime can help people divided by distance maintain the bonds they built in person, according to researchers. Phone calls are the next best thing—hearing the other person's voice is a form of connection—while relationships conducted primarily by email or text tend to wither fastest. USE FACEBOOK WISELY Social media isn't inherently alienating, says Harvard epidemiologist Jeremy Nobel, but to create sustainable connections, it should be used purposefully. "If you're just using Facebook to show pictures of yourself smiling on vacation, you're not going to connect authentically," he says. Instead, within the larger platforms, create smaller social networks, such as an online book club where you can share meaningful personal reactions with a select group of people. BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR Getting to know your neighbors yields more benefits than access to a cup of sugar when you run out. One study found that higher "neighborhood social cohesion" lowers your risk for a heart attack. So invite your neighbors over for coffee and offer to feed their cats when they go out of town. You'll be happier and healthier for it. THROW A DINNER PARTY "Eating together is a form of social glue," writes Susan Pinker in The Village Effect. Evidence of communal eating dates back at least 12,000 years: Sharing food was a way to resolve conflicts and create a group identity among hunter-gatherers long before villages existed. GET CREATIVE Participating in the creative arts—from joining a chorus to organizing a craft night—helps us connect deeply without talking directly about ourselves, Nobel says. "A lot of people can't find the spoken words to express their feelings, but they can draw them, write expressively about them, or even dance them," he says. "When someone else pays attention to them and allows them to resonate with their own experience, it's as if an electric circuit gets completed, and they're connected." TALK ABOUT IT When Julia Bainbridge struggled with loneliness as a single New Yorker, she started a podcast, The Lonely Hour, and found that just talking about her feelings made her feel less lonely. She was surprised to find out how many people felt the same way—and what a relief it was to know that she wasn't alone in her loneliness. Whether to a podcast audience, a friend, or a therapist, we can all benefit from talking about feelings of isolation. REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE—LITERALLY Hugging, holding hands, or even just patting someone on the back is powerful medicine. Physical touch can lower our physiological stress response, helping fight infection and inflammation. And it cues our brains to release oxytocin, which helps strengthen social bonds. Submit your response to this story to letters@psychologytoday.com (link sends e-mail). If you would like us to consider your letter for publication, please include your name, city, and state. Letters may be edited for length and clarity. Pick up a copy of Psychology Today on newsstands now or subscribe to read the the rest of the latest issue. Facebook image: Africa Studio/Shutterstock Most Popular 15 Signs You're an Introvert With High-Functioning Anxiety Why Narcissists Thrive on Chaos A New Reason to Acknowledge Your Partner’s Sacrifice Understanding the Mind of a Narcissist AleshynAndrei/Shutterstock Only the Lonely Loneliness comes in many shades A Cure for Disconnection The Neuroscience of Loneliness 3 Moves to Stop Feeling Lonely Isolation: Public Health Threat Psychology Today Facebook Twitter Instagram Recent Issues Psychology Today Magazine Cover May 2018 Psychology Today Magazine March 2018 Psychology Today Magazine January 2018 About Privacy Terms Canada United Kingdom United States International Psychology Today © 2018 Sussex Publishers, LLC

FORD MUSTANG 2019 REVIEW BRAND NEW

Home » Automotive » Classic Cars Join Sign in EzineArticles - Expert Authors Sharing Their Best Original Articles Custom Search Search Chandrasekhar Bhattacharjee Basic PLUS Author | 27 Articles Joined: October 31, 2013 India A Brief Overview of the 2019 Ford Mustang By Chandrasekhar Bhattacharjee | Submitted On March 15, 2018 Recommend Article Article Comments Print Article 2019 Ford Mustang - Introduction According to many, the Ford-Mustang is the best car brand. Whenever we talk about the best car then it implies car with the best technology, possessing the best features and having super efficient machine system. Undoubtedly, Ford is one of the acclaimed manufacturers in the auto industry. On a yearly basis, the auto companies attempt to design and manufacture new cars that are supposed to meet requirements of customers. The car is a popular car as it has a number of features, attributes and therefore many like to invest in such vehicles. The brand new 2019 Ford Mustang will hit the market by 2019, it is as decided by the Ford team. 2019 Ford Mustang- Exterior and Interior The exterior look of the 2019 Ford Mustang is charismatic. It has approximately 4.7 liters straight, small block V8 engine. There is available different shades of this vehicle. The car is available in different shades. It has a rain detection wiper that forms the key exterior attribute. Besides, the car has other features like the tire camo wheels, attractive headlights, metallic body. 2019 Ford-mustang GT Interior Though the new car has certain attributes which are different from the previous versions, the wheelbase continues to be the same. There is a marginal lower light controlled by reserve frameworks. The new model is expected to have fog lamps, attractive rear spoiler and quad edge, useful drainage canals. The wheels of the 2019 Ford Mustang are made of tire camo. The outside if the car is attractive and the inside is spacious. The seating arrangements are leather-wrapped. There are controlled independently. Inside of the car has a scope for entertainment for those who like to use it for traveling purposes. Other features of the vehicle include control wheel, power window, control buttons, lights, lights of cars, rain sensing wipers, telephones. There are security features that none shouldn't be missing in the vehicle. Stops censor, rear camera, airbags make the car ideal for travel. 2019 Ford-Mustang - Engine and Performance The 2019's version of the car is supposed to have engines that produce 300 horse power if energy, 280 pounds of torque. The engine of the car gives the rider 6-acceleration. It is reported that all the car engines will be equipped with turbochargers. 2019 Ford Mustang - Approximate Price and Release Date The starting price of the car is around $45,990. It can be said that the car is pricey for the average people. The price of the car can reach $66,490 in some cases. 2019's Ford's version of the car has a number of features that make it popular among the users. It inherits some of the features of its previous versions. Besides, there are some extra features of this vehicle which make it truly amazing to ride. The car has attractive exterior as well as interior features. It has a high-performance engine that makes it truly amazing to ride. The car exterior has a super metallic body that lends to it a truly charismatic appearance. However, for the mediocre, it can be a pricey affair to invest in these vehicles. For additional information about the vehicle, it is advised to visit relevant contents available online. Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Chandrasekhar_Bhattacharjee/1737216 0 Comments | Leave a Comment Did you find this article helpful? 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How to build a solid relationship

Home » Relationships Join Sign in EzineArticles - Expert Authors Sharing Their Best Original Articles Custom Search Search Rosina S Khan Diamond Quality Author Diamond Author | 302 Articles Joined: December 26, 2014 Bangladesh How to Build Solid Relationships By Rosina S Khan | Submitted On December 12, 2017 Recommend Article Article Comments Print Article Expert Author Rosina S Khan The whole world is about people and how you bond to them. They will never remember what and how you achieved great things but they will always remember how you made them feel. So be sure to make them feel good most of the time and they will capture your heart. Starting near about you, how do you behave with the people encircling you? Let's dive into this discussion. Read on to find out. Starting with your own family, how do you react towards them? Are you pissed off or lighthearted? If you are ill-tempered, you have something to work on. You need to cool down and then start talking to your family members. You need to behave well, especially for your children because they are picking up cues from you all the time. You don't want them to grow up to ill-tempered and non-sensible adults. After getting out of your home, you will meet the doorman and probably the gardener. Say hello to them cheerfully and smile. Immediately you bond a relationship with them - that also a meaningful and promising one. When you go to the supermarket, you will probably meet some known or unknown faces. Smile and talk cheerfully, draw up on your credit card and pull the cart away to avoid chaos. If you meet friends there, be sure to strike a lovely, short conversation and be back home or some other place on your agenda. Wherever you meet people, make eye contact and smile. They will smile back and you will bond together positively. As for me, I frequently visit confectionery, stationery and pharmacy shops near my home. All the people in there have come to know me. I am always cheerful and have bonded positively with them. So they take care to hand over their best products and never cheat on me. So bonding with the people you see every day has an upside. I recently visited my aunt who lives a long distance away from our home. Last time I visited her, we struck a lively and jolly conversation. At the end she handed me a big deep blue decorative bag as a gift which I still use today for grocery shopping. Presently when I visited her, I gave her a bangles set bought from U.S and she loved them. All her three daughters are staying abroad and so when I visit her, I fill up some space in her heart and she treats me like her daughter. There are examples of people like this everywhere in our lives. We just need to know how to connect to them positively. You never know who you will come to need in a time of crisis or danger. So remember to smile at people and bond gracefully and above all, make them feel good in a way they will love and remember you. Rosina S Khan has authored this article. For a wealth of free resources based on stunning fiction stories, amazing self-help eBooks, commendable articles, quality scholar papers and valuable blogs, all authored by her, and much more, visit: http://rosinaskhan.weebly.com. You will be glad that you did. If you would rather like to access her terrific collection of eBooks based only on fiction and self-help and download them for free, visit: http://www.facebook.com/RosinaSKhan.hub. You won't be disappointed and remember to like her Facebook page. Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Rosina_S_Khan/2054435 0 Comments | Leave a Comment Did you find this article helpful? Happy Face1 Sad Face0 Viewed 97 times Word count: 479 Article Tools EzinePublisher Report this article Cite this article Stay Informed Subscribe to New Article Alerts: Relationships Rosina S Khan Email Address Subscribe We will never sell or rent your email address. Relationships Article Feed Relationships Article Feed Find More Articles Search Recent Articles Staying Present IN the Awkward Moment - True Story Bereavement - What to Say? He Wanted To Kill Himself After His Partner Left Him Wait and Let God Avenge For You Like Only God Can When Experience Gets in the Way of Empathy Those Precious Moments Missed Are Lost We Are Here for You Okay, So How Am I to Challenge Someone Who Hates Being Criticised? Instant Healing Of Your Ego Wounded Self? It Doesn't Exist Loving People Well With Boundaries EzineArticles.com About Us FAQ Contact Us Member Benefits Privacy Policy Shop Site Map Blog Training Video Library Advertising Affiliates Cartoons Authors Submit Articles Members Login Premium Membership Expert Authors Endorsements Editorial Guidelines Terms of Service Publishers Terms Of Service Ezines / Email Alerts Manage Subscriptions EzineArticles RSS © 2018 EzineArticles All Rights Reserved Worldwide

MENS EGO IN RELATIONSHIPS

Home » Relationships » Dating Join Sign in EzineArticles - Expert Authors Sharing Their Best Original Articles Custom Search Search Mike Pilinski Platinum Quality Author Platinum Author | 16 Articles Joined: June 14, 2007 United States Women Pay a Great Collective Price for Their Wanton Disregard of the Male Ego By Mike Pilinski | Submitted On October 18, 2010 Recommend Article Article Comments Print Article Expert Author Mike Pilinski Women see the dance of courtship as a big game with a specific goal in mind: meet the man who will produce the healthiest babies and offer his protection to her. This requires a lot of shopping around on their part, something which most women of course tend to delight in (and possess a special gene for I think!). Meet some guy, date him and dump him... flirt and tease around endlessly... reject the guys you don't like, go with the guy who you finally find some "chemistry" with and live happily ever after. All the broken hearts and embarrassing rejections are quickly forgotten - by HER. Not by you of course. And because they think that men are generally dumb when it comes to matters emotional, many also tend to think that we have short memories. Actually, they think we have NO memories whatsoever beyond important stuff like box scores and football plays, or more accurately, any real capacity for emotional pain. At least not on the same profound level that they experience it. Reject a guy and so what?... the dummy goes bouncing away into the night and immediately lays his lame rap on some other chick, and another and another, until one of them finally falls for his crap and he takes her home and smashes it. He ends up with a girlfriend or not. Whoppie. What do I care about him? Just another crude, crass, selfish a-hole who will break his future wife's heart with his philandering -- or merely drive her into the depths of despair with his loveless disregard of her own emotional needs. What they don't get is the hand that THEY have in the creation of all these emotional abusers and women haters. That's right, it's their own fault so many men turn out this way. How can that be?... because they don't understand the massive power - the massive control - that the male ego has upon us. Most women probably regard the male ego as just another stupid little aspect of our dimwitted personalities, that "thing" lurking in our lunkheads that keeps us from stopping to ask for directions when we're hopelessly lost. Ha ha! What a joke. Oh, but ladies, it's no joke, this male ego. It's the centerpiece of the male existence. It's what drives us to great heights, or sends us crashing to the lowest depths of depravity. And you, girl, are the executive software writer of the convoluted source code that runs it. You, Silly Sally, doing that harmless little flirting thing with Jimmy... stringing him along and making him think that he actually has a chance with you. Making him love you and become infatuated. Only to discard him like a set of worn out tires when the guy you REALLY wanted all along - Johnny - finally asks you out to the prom. Heck with ol' Jimmy... it's Johnny I want! Jimmy can go find someone else. After all, he's just another dopey guy being led around by his trouser snake -- he'll just move on to the next tight rear-end that he sees, he didn't care about me anyway. Men have no real emotions like girls do anyway. They don't cry. Girls cry, and it's the nasty boys that almost always make us! This is where you're wrong. Jimmy has feelings alright, but he just can't express them because society won't allow it. Code of Strong Men, and all that. So Jimmy has to subduct his pain and frustration and loss and go on as if nothing happened - looking outwardly just like that uncaring fool the women think he is - but something has happened. Jimmy has developed a way to deal with his pain, all men have. How does he do it? He writes an I.O.U. A marker... a chit to be called in sometime in the distant future. Some girl he hasn't even met yet will pay the price for your little transgression. And here's why, because what women don't realize about men is this: flirting and courting and begging the sexual favors of a woman is not some cute little game to us like it is to you - we're deadly serious about it. When a man reaches out to you and offers himself when the first stirrings in his heart tell him to do so, he has just taken his ego, his most precious possession, and pushed it into the center of the poker table. Chits build up - go into storage for revenge - future women bear the cost of these rejections. Men cannot process their emotions openly, and so must subduct them where they fester and grow rancid. They are never are completely cleared however until they are processed through a vengeful, often unjustified act. This could be where a lot of your weird desires to hurt someone that you love someday in the future will come from - unfinished business that never was settled. So ladies, YOU with your collective decisions regarding men are responsible for this bad behavior that you love to rant about! Men cannot tolerate your rejections. It's not just a temporary pain and disappointment, it is a piercing lance into the very core of their being which challenges their very identity as men. And you know how insecure they can be about that (ask any gay man who made a gaydar mistake!). Women have the power of being the "chooser" in the game of seduction conveyed to them by social convention, but they do not have ALL the power. As a man you must resist projecting a "beggar's mentality" at all costs. Men sometimes make big a mistake by surrendering too much of their power by making themselves subservient to a woman's wishes -- and this diminishes them greatly. Keep this "danger zone" in mind at all times and slap yourself awake when you find yourself slipping into it. It will be especially bad if the woman is very hot or special to you in some way, this is where you will have to use major strength of emotion and character to keep from seeming like a lowly butt kiss. The cute ones will make the task even harder for you by acting somewhat unattainable. It is their test... they have the ability to filter ruthlessly for the best high status males out there, and many are not afraid to use this power to the hilt. This is the great danger underlying all we as men fear -- that we'll get oh-so-close to scoring her trust and then... BAM!... one wrong move, one misplaced comment, and our chance is blown and gone. Here is the black core of all our greatest anxiety when it comes to meeting women: not that we'll simply be rejected, but that we'll be rejected by the one that we didn't even want to take a shot at unless it was a sure thing. The near miss that would be unbearable to experience. The heartache, the regret. Play with fire and you will get burned, maybe badly. This can be the big deal breaker for many of us, why we refuse to take the chance to begin with. Some food for thought today. All you men reading this should keep all this in mind when trying to understand the nature of the many roadblocks that you may've created in your own mind which are only sabotaging your best social efforts. Mike Pilinski is the author of 2 classic books in the men's dating market... his highly-acclaimed original, "Without Embarrassment" and his follow-up: "She's Yours For The Taking". Each of these 250+ page books, newly upgraded and revised, are a masterful education for all guys in the fine art of meeting, dating and seducing women. Check out Mike's main website HighStatusMale.com to see all of his books and audios on dating and seduction, plus his new video training course on educational site Udemy.com, called "Masterful Social Skills For Men" Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Mike_Pilinski/103106 0 Comments | Leave a Comment Did you find this article helpful? Happy Face0 Sad Face0 Viewed 128 times Word count: 1,245 Article Tools EzinePublisher Report this article Cite this article Stay Informed Subscribe to New Article Alerts: Relationships: Dating Mike Pilinski Email Address Subscribe We will never sell or rent your email address. 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